Skip to content

Bill Kushner

Civilization

 

You talk to me, I listen. I

talk to you, you listen. Is

this like civilization or

what? We watch our hands,

fingers knotting, twisting, for

something hidden. "Everything

you say" you say with a grin

"probably makes perfect sense

in some other world." We,

even in this silence, listen,

but whatever for? but still

we cock our heads so, what

a great conversation we are al­-

most having. An elderly Chinese

man looks at us curiously, his

parched old wrinkled face stares,

unblinking, inscrutable, as if

across some strange vast distance,

but only I seem to notice him,

you are far away. I wonder

what would happen if I held

out my arms, and if I took him

in them, his thin frail foreign

body, and simply held him and

our two hearts together, would

that be unheard of? would

it upset the balance of the world

and tip it over? He continues

his steady gaze as you suddenly

stand. "You coming or staying?"

I don't say anything, and you

walk away, but lumbering slowly

as is your way, as if a fierce wind

you keep punching against it

it keeps punching you back.

 

 

.

 

 

Gerard

 

I saw someone who looked just like Gerard

Yesterday, he came into Angelica's and I

Looked up and he sat down at a table near me

And I couldn't help staring because his face

It was almost Gerard's face but of course

Not quite between a young man's and a child's

And when he took off his cap and all this hair

Fell down oh Gerard his beautiful hair, dark

Black and luxuriant, and I thought oh God

And so from then on I couldn't help staring

He ordered black beans and brown rice and a drink

And pulled out a book and while waiting began reading

And I wondered immediately what it was he was reading

And suddenly he looked up just once saw me staring

Oh my poor face, my it must have been something

It was a very strange moment as we stared at each

Other, and I so wanted to call across to him oh something

Like I'm terribly sorry but you remind me you do

Of someone, he was here but a moment and is gone but then

You walked in and I thought for a moment, oh just a moment

But he suddenly looked down and went back to his reading

And the moment was gone and Gerard was gone. Gerard was gone.

 

"Civilization" and "Gerard" appeared first in The Dreams Of Waters

Rattapallax Press