Counting Her Dirt
TAURUS (April 20th-May 20th):
The dominant image is getting off a plane in Hawaii and someone putting flower garlands around my neck. The image is one of reporters writing down my every word. What I am actually seeing is you sitting across from me on the other end of the bed, fingering yourself while you ask me questions. Everything I say is, to your ears, a dirty joke, a come-on, fuel, fire, expense. Ask me how long I’ve lived here. How many guys I’ve slept with. Do I like your body? Think you’re sexy? Did I really think you were cute before you came and said hi at the party? I am smoking your cigarettes and staring at you while you moan and fuck yourself, ask of me like an oracle. You beg me to take out my dick, I tease you with my belt and you almost break it throwing it across the room. You’re all over me, I can hear you breathing loud and animal, stampeding to the holy land you’re so sexy when you’re going after what you want. Drive. I wish I could ride on your back but tonight I settle into being your destination and I will unfold when you round the bend, lover. So come.
VIRGO (August 23rd – September 22nd):
I know you keep your eyes open when you kiss me. I try to look as blank and impassive as possible. I know you’re staring right at me the whole time. I can read your mind but I can’t translate it, so it’s just as exciting it feels like espionage. You’re pretending I’m someone else, and I’m letting you. You treat me like a pet, fingering me patiently and feeding me like a mommy. I know that the giving is more important than whether or not I take it. You want so hard to usher me into somewhere so I act like I need your encouragement. You tell me how good it feels, keep saying. I don’t need to hear it but you hang it on me like a gold medal, as if my sucking your cock is worth only and exactly praise, and it feels the same. You worry too much. Your cock is dripping with pre-cum, it’s like a newt or something I feel protective of it. I can tell you’re nervous so you keep focusing on my lips, my face. I have the distinct pleasure of the movie screen. You want to see your dreams and I want to be high and white and flat and wide. Under your tongue I am illuminated.
CAPRICORN (December 22nd – January 19th):
You’re like a baby you’re so curious. I know by now that all boys have their kink and some boys want to talk, but you want to hear all about it. It doesn’t matter what, you just keep telling me to talk. It dawns on me that your kink might be asking, because you never stop. You give little commandments like baby moses down the river. You have a faint moustache (you’re not old enough to grow a real one) and it tickles the insides of my thighs. We’re fucking and you are insistent, incessant. “Harder. Billy. Oh my god.” I can’t believe you are saying these things, moaning the way you are, I start laughing. And you cross your ankles behind my head. Suddenly serious, you’re not curious but commanding I think of you like King Tut, now. Baby general commander. “Harder, Billy. Better. Oh god. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Oh God Billy.” You climb on top of me and we fuck sitting up in bed. I feel like some part of a big machine. I only know my function but I know it’s working towards something bigger and I churn and pump away. You get coy, shy from pleasure and whisper casually if I could if I’m flexible if I don’t mind could I please (‘please’ he knows manners, even the littlest emperor in the meteor machine) please could I try to suck you off while I’m fucking you? Because you like it when I blow you and you’re really, you said, really feeling me when I fuck you.
Big bright blue european daylight for the first time in six days. I’m on tour in Germany with my best friend Sprinkles. We’re nightclub singers and I have to go pick her up for band practice. I haven’t seen the sun all week and now I’m trudging across town in my sexiest outfit so I don’t get lost in the daylight. I like my clothes, I guess, I’m from New York, but really I like it more when my body shows through them. Here, I am naked and nocturnal no matter what time it is or what I’m wearing. You wanna see my bones through my skin through my clothes? I’ll show them off and make you hungry.
The sunlight here up north spits sideways at me. I’m dizzy and wear dark glasses. Chainsmoking and walking in big boot strides. Fido stopped me that Sunday morning on the sidewalk as I stomped out my gauloise on the steps of the u-bahn station. Came up to me walking his bike with a real slow heavy cruise and asked me my name in German.
I said Billy and he switched to English. Fido is beautiful but not my type. He’s blond, bleach blonder than me with long hair. His face is gaunt and his eyes are so blue they’re like white even underneath sunglasses. Scary and tough but I’m taller I could take him. Hope I get the chance.
He asked me what I was doing in town and I just answered him with the same questions. We’re both singers with shows that night. He has to save his voice, he says. I want to use his up. He invites me over to his house, but I demure till later. I give him my American number six digits shorter than his.
I pick up Sprinkles and we gossip about my date that night. In Berlin she turns heads wakes up in gold glitter and spotlights on her eyes. Tight bright bluej eans, her package showing through (she’s a big dick Brit tranny, natch) and long red curly moviestar hair. We walk arm in arm through the city singing to each other. We’re not saving anything for our show tonight. I wanna get used up before we hit the stage. Start fresh. After espresso and pink French cigarettes I bid Sprinkles abientot and meet up with Fido at dusk, back on the corner where he cruised me.
He takes me home with him. His apartment is spare and dark and I want to check out the stacks of records in his hallway but he starts kissing me. I’m on vacation turning multilingual. His tongue is huge, flat, thick and sweet. It’s the second largest muscle in a human’s body but for Fido I bet it’s the first biggest.
He’s grabbing my ass and it’s pitch black night by now. He takes off my shirt and starts sucking my dick. Slobbering on me he’s breathing heavy, concentrating. He moans when he’s gagging on my dick and the sound of his voice sends vibrations through my pelvis. He’s jerking off and fingering me and a black cat is stalking around my feet. I’m leaning against the wall and the only light is through the windows of the neighbor’s house. Fido’s hair is long it falls in his face while he’s blowing me. He sweeps it to the side and smiles at me wile he pinches his left nipple and kisses the head of my cock.
“I want to go to bed.” I say.
He grins and his teeth are crooked but clean. Leads me into a spare room with a huge grey bed on the floor, buddha statues and incense and lots of low-hanging lanterns. “Are you Buddhist?” I ask him as he positions me on the bed, gruffly.
“Cool,” Fido swivels around while he sucks my dick, puts his knees at my ears and grunts and sighs. “me too.” I’ve always been a bigmouth but it’s true too I think we’re all dead anyway. I’m sucking his dick and he’s moaning and I don’t have a translator but I know he likes it. I’m a really bad gossip I’m politically opposed to keeping secrets. That’s buddhist too.
Fido is eating my ass and I’m jerking him off. His cat is pacing in the hallway I can hear the neighbors are dinking something with ice in it. I don’t understand but I’m getting german lessons and newly conversant I know they’re talking about sunburns and it makes me think of home. Fido is kissing my neck and holding my hands above my head the bed is just cushions (real simple, see, real zen mein herr). He puts on a german condom I’m thinking about rations and almost apologetically he’s on top of me murmuring softly and kissing me behind my ears.
Fido fucks me precisely and surely, keeps sweeping his hair back he’s athletic. That makes me the track he’s running on. My gravel is red, I am surrounded by cheering crowds and sun-baked burnt. He moans when I play with his nipples “oh” he says “oh, uh, oh” surprised. His left nipple is more sensitive. I’m learning so much here. His cat is purring while he fucks me I lock my ankles behind him and he stretches me taut holding my wrists together like a violin. He jerks off onto my chest. He is certain and empirical I cum with him straddling me it shoots up his back the neighbors are laughing it sounds like they’re cheering us on.
Afterwards, he pours me german apple juice and gives me cookies thanks me for visiting him and tells me he hopes I have a good show that night. I do, am sure that I will more, again.